Fight!

Having said that, that flea-ridden white cat from next door was invading my territory last night. It came right into the house. And she fed it!

Well, I couldn't allow that, so I went out and had a jolly good snarl at it. It was about to get the fat end of my paw across its chops when BFFP came out and broke it up. Although she then shooed me into the house, as though it was my fault. I might just have to piss on her bed to remind her just who's place this is.

Reports of my death...

...have been greatly exaggerated. But let's face it: this is not a fly-on-the-wall kind of blog. I don't want you to know every little detail of my life. And how much is there to say for a domestic moggy?

Eat. Shit. Sleep. Puke. Demand attention.

These are the five pillars of my existence. There are no mice to chase. I've concluded that scratching the furniture just gets you busted for no good reason. Blogging merely records the passing of time. It's the ultimate pointlessness of our existence that gets to you sometimes.